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When
I become president Port Harcourt will have a minister of appropriate attire.
Stiff penalties for dressing your body like it belongs to someone you'd never
met and were misled regarding their proportions and complexion, etc.
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When
I become president places of worship will have their public address systems
turned inwards own their own internal public and churches too stingy to pay
proper organists who don't make their audience tone deaf will be banned from
having anything louder than their palms to make music with.
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When
I become president places of worship will be treated like markets: situated in
one long stretch of shops or buildings. Mosques, churches, shrines etc. all
mixed up. Let's see y'all bomb one another or try to coexist without some sort
of truce. 😏
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When
I become president: phrases like 'only in Naija', 'the good old days' etc will
be heavily frowned upon and those who utter them, fined and given large dog
tags to wear with the inscription 'oh drat, I was an ass'😒
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