40 and 1

41 today. A little kinder than me at 40 at 2300hrs yesterday. Kinda sorta almost more uncertain about many things: faith, hope, salvation, nationalism, race, and so much more. But even more intensely curious and alive in so many more ways. Old and yet young. The curious case.....yeah, kinda sorta almost.

Above all, gratitude envelopes like a shroud and humbles me. For much, for many. For people and events. For health and challenges. For naïveté and increasing fights with jadedness.

And whatever fights with religion and all I may have, above all I know there's a God....and I am not Him.

Thank You Father.....for the next 40 years. Long may the knees hold out. And may the belly get flat...well kinda sorta almost. Love you Lord....in my own way.

Alone
In the dark
Unsure..

Alone
In the dark
Waiting..

Alone in the dark
Wishing
Craving

Alone in the dark
Emotions
Clawing
Desire
Building
Sorrow
Growing
Unease
Growing
Heartbeat
Racing
Hope
Floundering

Alone
In the dark
I want to talk
To you
About you
With you
About you

Alone
In the dark
I hold conversations
With you
But you're not here

I'm alone
In the dark