Alone
In the dark
Unsure..

Alone
In the dark
Waiting..

Alone in the dark
Wishing
Craving

Alone in the dark
Emotions
Clawing
Desire
Building
Sorrow
Growing
Unease
Growing
Heartbeat
Racing
Hope
Floundering

Alone
In the dark
I want to talk
To you
About you
With you
About you

Alone
In the dark
I hold conversations
With you
But you're not here

I'm alone
In the dark

love fights

Sleep a myth. Peace gone south. 

Wake up. Stay up.

 Wake up. Talk.

  Wake up shut up.

   Awake. Groggy.

    Awake. Listening.

     Awake. Muddling memories.

      Awake. Unsure. 

       Awake. Seeking.

        Awake. Reaching.

         Awake.............

 

Finding.

 Groping.

  Eager.

   Fondling.

    Cries.

     Grasping.

      Thrusting.

       Breathless.

        Grunts.

         Reaching.

          Reaching.

           Reaching...

            Soaring.

             Heights.

              Peaking.

               Riding.

                Mewling.

                 Smiling.

                  Embrace.

                   Tender.

                    Fondling.

                     Parting.

                      Sated.

                       Turning.

                        Away.

                         Silence.

                          Creeping.

                           Doubts reborn.

                            Bodies tensing.

                             Sleep a myth 

....mental

A friend told me he learned to compartmentalize and perfected mental speed-searching because he needed to. That's me paraphrasing. But you should get the gist. 

 

You learn as you grow older that this is a necessary skill to have. 

You choose what has the power, if any, to shake you.

 

You screen your emotions and learn to be joyful when you're grieving, upbeat when you're depressed, friendly when beneath the surface you're seething with anger, pleasant when the sarcasm is simmering underneath and like a pressure pot something just wants to let loose, calm when your emotions are a riot, respectful when you really just want to tell the other person just how much of an ass you think they are and politely tell them to ‘with due respect’ stop being a jerk-off.

 

Duplicitous? I think not.

 

 

For every reaction or action is just a notch on a number line of emotions or actions. So you learn to choose your battles. You learn to live in a manner that doesn't leave too many unanswered questions in your head. You learn to give yourself permission to be more than the sum of your emotions and fears. You learn to exhale

I am Woman

I am woman

In the loins of man first carried around a testimony to the humour of the Creator

In the womb of woman nurtured and borne to be born in agony, expelled from a womb with a painful tear.

In me you find your joys, your fears. For of me you were born.
To be lover and child.
To be mother and friend.
To break your heart and to restore your hope

I am strong for so I was created.
I am strong for my journey has made me so.

My mistakes....here an ode to the audacity of youth, there a testament to the results of a heart unguarded and a will untrained.

My victories..purposefully wrought or unthinkingly achieved.

Here I am. Woman. Loved. Used. Celebrated. Vilified. Adored. Disdained.

Your orgasms celebrate and disparage me. Think beyond sex manchild. For the spillage of your mind are the orgasms here

I am woman. Tentative. Resolute. Beguiling. Hurtful. Timid. Arrogant. Needy. Confident.

I am she whom you left to be with another. Whom you chose at the expense of another. Whose emotions nurtured you on your search for another.
In me is your fulfillment and your derailment.

I am woman.

(more tentative writings on www.true9jawoman.blogspot.com)

#itsallinmyhead
#nkechisreviews
#womanhood
#imperfect
#truth
#strengthinweakness
#journeying
(Image from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/135037688805934016/ )