The art of cowardice

Seems easy doesn't it.... to just fail. To give in give up roll over play dead

Ever look at a person dedicated to the smell of their failures? Ever been that person? The one with all the excuses for why trying shouldn't happen? The person believing in all but themselves? Have you?

Being a coward requires courage. To wake up and slink past your mirror unwilling to look at the face you know will be staring back at you aghast and unsure

If you're a dreamer with no push to wake up....
a thinker with no more than the regular fleeting desire to act
The excuse giver.....there's always a good one
Or the best ever..... the quintessential procrastinator

Then you know don't you, the pains dnd the joys, ...now don't you be a liar, of giving up. Like the near addiction of picking a scab just enough that it never heals, being a coward demands perfection

Here's to the cowards. Misunderstood and maligned. Looked upon from the lofty heights of the rave in their disdain.

I leave you though.....been one of you too long. The warmth of the company of kith and kin I must now abandon and find new loves and new paths.

A toast to you. And a fleeting backward glance as I step into the ring with the bold and the brave. To be knocked down and spat at. To be heckled and jeered at.

To take my place amongst those who dared. To try. To succeed.

For I want to know the smell of sweat and hard-won victory. Farewell, for I drink a different brew now.

(Icon made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com )

The price of growth

Like a kid morphing into an adult you will outgrow many people. It isn't that the kid's clothes are of poor quality or wouldn't serve a kid's needs. They just aren't needed any more.

Like feet moving through different stages of life, people will outgrow you. Good shoes are good shoes. A good shoemaker will always make make good shoes. But have you tried to force fit an adult size 10 foot into a kid size 5 oxfords? Outgrown right?

Moving on isn't always up. Or right. Or a beautiful dirge lamenting the loss. Sometimes it's a quick sidestep out of the marching band. Or a trip down the stairs and realizing you missed the turn others took but don't feel the pull to call out to them to stop. Man down? Nah, you'll be alright

Don't pull on the scab for too long. You'll miss the lessons from breaking out of this new cocoon and not realize a new you has emerged: stronger already for having clawed your way beak-first out of a hard unyielding shell. Lean into the pain from your exercise. Deep breath deep breath..... now let's go forge new alliances and leave our footprints on the moon😉

....mental

A friend told me he learned to compartmentalize and perfected mental speed-searching because he needed to. That's me paraphrasing. But you should get the gist. 

 

You learn as you grow older that this is a necessary skill to have. 

You choose what has the power, if any, to shake you.

 

You screen your emotions and learn to be joyful when you're grieving, upbeat when you're depressed, friendly when beneath the surface you're seething with anger, pleasant when the sarcasm is simmering underneath and like a pressure pot something just wants to let loose, calm when your emotions are a riot, respectful when you really just want to tell the other person just how much of an ass you think they are and politely tell them to ‘with due respect’ stop being a jerk-off.

 

Duplicitous? I think not.

 

 

For every reaction or action is just a notch on a number line of emotions or actions. So you learn to choose your battles. You learn to live in a manner that doesn't leave too many unanswered questions in your head. You learn to give yourself permission to be more than the sum of your emotions and fears. You learn to exhale

I am Woman

I am woman

In the loins of man first carried around a testimony to the humour of the Creator

In the womb of woman nurtured and borne to be born in agony, expelled from a womb with a painful tear.

In me you find your joys, your fears. For of me you were born.
To be lover and child.
To be mother and friend.
To break your heart and to restore your hope

I am strong for so I was created.
I am strong for my journey has made me so.

My mistakes....here an ode to the audacity of youth, there a testament to the results of a heart unguarded and a will untrained.

My victories..purposefully wrought or unthinkingly achieved.

Here I am. Woman. Loved. Used. Celebrated. Vilified. Adored. Disdained.

Your orgasms celebrate and disparage me. Think beyond sex manchild. For the spillage of your mind are the orgasms here

I am woman. Tentative. Resolute. Beguiling. Hurtful. Timid. Arrogant. Needy. Confident.

I am she whom you left to be with another. Whom you chose at the expense of another. Whose emotions nurtured you on your search for another.
In me is your fulfillment and your derailment.

I am woman.

(more tentative writings on www.true9jawoman.blogspot.com)

#itsallinmyhead
#nkechisreviews
#womanhood
#imperfect
#truth
#strengthinweakness
#journeying
(Image from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/135037688805934016/ )